Harsh Realities.


The truth hurts. We hear that a lot in life. While the ubiquitousness of the phrase makes it so familiar that we might shrug it off when we hear it, that does not make it any less true, nor lessen the sting when we are exposed. I faced a few unpleasant truths this weekend.

Not sure how this is going to go over but here goes.

I hope this is sweat…

I hope this is sweat. - Imgur
I’m not surprised I remembered this.

I had a very vivid dream Friday night. Maybe you can relate. Wherever I was in the dream I was rushing, hurrying to the bathroom. I just barely made it to the toilet and sat down to pee (I’m a man and I sit down to pee in my dreams, does that mean something?) I started and stopped a couple times, for some reason unwilling to just go. Finally I let it rip and it was GLORIOUS…..until I woke up and realized

I was still in bed and actually peeing.

Yup. 35 year old man wetting the bed. Feeling awesome here but it’s hard to hide the fact that it happened considering I was right behind my wife (I’m the big spoon more often than not) and she had to change her pajamas.

How’s that for sexy? Hold it back ladies and gentleman, this human sprinkler is taken. Sorry to disappoint.

If that wasn’t enough

So despite starting my Friday as human fire-hose (now I’m just bragging); it managed to get worse.

At 6am I received a text from an employee telling me she’s sick and can’t come in. Being sick sucks. She heads the clerks so I start to contact the second in command…she’s out sick. I have another clerk helping out at the jail today, which now leaves me with two clerks and a volunteer where I should have 5 and a volunteer. Sigh.

I contact the manager at the jail so I can ask for my clerk back, but she’s called in too, and when I reach out to the two remaining clerks, one responds back that she needs to stay home with her ill child. Zuh?

Let’s recap: I should have 5 clerks and a volunteer. What I actually have is 1 clerk and a volunteer. Not the same thing. I’m on my way to a doctor appointment (annual VA checkup) and I have no temps or anywhere to obviously pull for support.

Cue: frustrating morning emailing/texting and on the phone calling my superior and other managers looking for who it will impact least to support me.

This means my morning time with my daughters was spent working. This is not acceptable to me. Our morning time is OUR TIME and has been since they were born. Animal and I get up together at 6am and play or draw or chat or just be near each other. Since Snookums came around she has joined us (though she takes after her mother and tends to be a bit sleepy this early).

The truth? This job is not what it appeared/what we hoped it would be. I don’t get to “go to work, do my job and come home”. Work comes home with me sometimes, and it takes longer than expected and sometimes eats into the weekend or evening if there is an outreach event.

We had high hopes for this job as the schedule at least appeared more in line with what we wanted as a family. Daytime hours, working when the girls are at school and home when they are. In reality I’m gone 5 days a week for 11 hours instead of three days a week for 13 (when I was at the hospital). That’s simple math and it’s more.

And if that’s not enough…

I wanted to be proactive and start my tax prep. I have both my W2’s from last year so lets do it! I open up both W2’sso I can get to work. and what do I see?


Well, no not really. Nothing to see here. I spent six months of last year working at the hospital and six months working for the State. Even split. The takeaway? In those six months I made $14,000 less at the State than I did at the hospital.

Yes $14,000 less.

Harsh reality indeed to see it in plan black and white. We knew it was less (though not when we took the job, there were a couple surprises) but we wanted to try the new schedule and see if it was a better fit for our family.

I am the primary income-earner for our house. I had my complaints about life at the hospital true but I have my complaints with life in the clinic too. Now we have to decide if what we disliked about the hospital is worth the increased income. Now we weigh our options.

Snookums has asked me to go back to the hospital schedule because I was available to play during the day. Animal likes my schedule now because I am home every night. I miss the four days off so I could run in the sunlight and have dates with my wife. Lisa likes having me home at night but doesn’t like cramming everything in on our weekend days like Frank the Tank from Oldschool.

The takeaway?

As much as Lisa and I don’t want to admit it, I think changes are still coming. The State is not giving us what we want and while taking this job was not a waste of time, it was not productive in the long run. It is showing us where we want to focus. Family time and flexibility are priorities and being fiscally responsible (did I just say that? Somebody quick call the Pope! Check to see if Hell just froze over).

When were you faced with something you didn’t want to admit was true or was difficult to accept? Funny bodily function stories acceptable.

Sometimes things don’t go our way or turn out how we expected/hoped. How did something like that surprise you and how did it turn out in the end?




5 thoughts on “Harsh Realities.

  1. I’m so glad that even admist your troubles you can see that this job is serving some kind of function in your life (showing you where your focus ought to be). It will all be okay, it always is in the end! Just one step at a time. I havent been following your blog long enough to know much about the nicknames you’ve given your girls but I wanted to quickly share that my mother’s English isn’t very good and when she first got a smartphone (some 3/4 years ago) she would text my sister or my father to say that she is with “Anisa” but the predective text would change Anisa to “Animal” so often she’d text: “me and Animal are at the mall”, “Animal bought a nice dress”, “Animal went to work” hehe.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Troubles yes but I try to keep in perspective that my troubles are not life-threatening like so many face on a daily basis.

      As to the girls, these are not their nicknames IRL but what I use to label them here in the interest of internet safety. They are kids and when and if they choose to reveal their real selves to the world they can but until then, safety first.

      Also they are both Muppet names. Because awesome.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. OMFG I AM STILL LAUGHING but I shouldn’t because these are all such harsh realities… I just cannot stop laughing at you being a human fire hose though… If that happened to me, aka: I was Lisa… I would have just laughed. I hope she was laughing. LOL!

    As for everything else. You really have to do what is right for you and your family and do what makes you happen. I have learned over the past 5 years that if you’re not doing what makes you happy and what works for you and whomever else you are “in charge of” then… It’s not going to work. Nope. While this sounds like common sense… So many people don’t realize it! I am glad YOU DO!

    HFH. I am going to call you that from NOW on 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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